MutteringfoolDotCom

by Suzy Smith since 2000.

Friday, October 15, 2004

NewsFlash:

I'm not going anywhere for now. Due to the generosity of someone who wishes to remain anonymous, my site hosting is paid up through December. Let me tell you, that right there is a wonderful thing. This journal of mine has been a lifesaver over the past 4.5 years and the thought of losing it was killing me. So, thank you, again, my friend, you rule.

And, I have to thank everyone else who commented or emailed me or called me. The words of encouragement, the offers of ideas, etc, really made me realize how lucky I am to have people I can call my friends all over the world.

I thank you all, and I promise, I will be getting back to you in email.

____________________________________________________________________

Other than that, things are about the same. Mentally, I'm still in a bad place. I know it and so does everyone around me. The whole "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" thing just isn't working this time. All I want to do is pull a blanket over my head and stay there for awhile.

I can't, because it seems the whole family would collapse if I did. Or at least the majority of them. Everyone is going out of town this weekend, except for Tony and I so it will at least be quiet around here. A little bit of quiet sounds quite nice, right now. No kids pulling at me or climbing on me. It will be nice not to feel touched out for a couple of days.

____________________________________________________________________

The job search is not going well. I've got resumes all over the state of Virginia, I've applied for every job that I might possibly have a chance of being able to do, which honestly isn't that many. The whole gimpy leg thing is really getting me down, right now. I want to be able to work so we'll have money coming in but, the limitations I'm under are just pressing down on me.

Hell, I even thought about reapplying to the last major company I worked with, until I realized that it's about half a mile from the closest parking spaces to where I would work in the building. That just isn't doable without some sort of motorized chair or scooter. No matter how many times I dream of having my old body back, my bad leg and hip aren't going to heal in some miraculous manner. I'm stuck with the body I have, I just have to figure out a way around this.

This weekend will be a weekend of rest for me, as my feet look like swollen baked potatoes. If you press on my foot, the dent stays for quite some time. It's a side effect of the gimpiness and overdoing things this week with having two kids here instead of just one.

And, that is what I've been up to. To recap, I'll be here through December (hooray for wonderful people), I'm still trying to find work, I'm still gimpy, and I'm still dreaming of winning the lottery.

I'll write more soon, thanks for sticking around through all of this.

posted by Suzy @ 12:06 AM

0 Comments: